


Ivan, the Idiot

by Gwynne



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-13
Updated: 2011-06-13
Packaged: 2017-10-20 09:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/pseuds/Gwynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All his life Ivan has done one thing very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ivan, the Idiot

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

Alys looks at the baby in her arms, and sees his father’s eyes. She remembers watching the light die in those eyes, she remembers the man who held her and loved her and died simply because he carried the blood of emperors in his veins. And she vows to her child that he won’t die for that blood. He won’t be a threat to the Imperium, he won’t be an opportunity for any secret plotting. He won’t be….suitable.

Because his mother loves him so much, Ivan is going to be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

Aral watches his cousin’s child playing in the gardens of the residence. And sees Padma’s ghost, killed through another man’s ambition. And he vows to that ghost that Padma’s son won’t ever be a player in the game of thrones. He’ll never die through another man’s ambition, or his own. Aral will make sure that Ivan isn’t ever seen as a threat.

To keep him safe, Ivan is going to be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

Ivan has just started at his new school, and feels so grown up. He doesn’t hear the gossip until the second day, doesn’t think it matters until he hears it again. Then he asks his mother.

She looks surprised, then - he’s not sure, but she almost looks scared. But that can’t be right, Ivan’s mother isn’t scared of anything. “Viable alternative? Where did you hear that?” Her voice is sharp.

And then she explains that it’s all silly talk, it means nothing. But her eyes don’t agree with her words. She explains that it means that people are watching him, and it’s important that he doesn’t give any opportunities for… She goes on for a while, carefully not saying something, but Ivan finally figures out that she’s talking about being Emperor. But Gregor is Emperor, so Ivan can’t be. He says once, just once, that it’d be fun to try it, but the look on her face stops him from ever making that joke again. To anyone. Ever.

Ivan gets the message, that it’s very important that nobody ever think that Ivan could do Gregor’s job. Ever. At all. If even his mother is scared about this, it’s really important.

So, to stop his mother being afraid, Ivan is going to be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

Gregor stares at the reader in front of him but all he can see is the post in the main square, where the traitors are chained up to die. Miles could be there right now, but for incredibly fortunate timing, and some Milesian fast talking. For the first time Gregor has realised the sheer danger to those he loves of being close to the throne, close to Gregor the Emperor. The people he loves the most are at greatest risk. Miles had almost gone this time, and Aral would have followed soon after, one way or another. But not this time, this time it all came out right. Gregor runs through the Imperium Shuffle in his head. Aral, first in line. Everyone knows that Aral could have been Emperor, should have been Emperor, and would chew his own leg off to avoid being Emperor. Miles is next in line, but the Mutie tag would block him from being a candidate. And after that … Ivan. Tall, handsome, the perfect Vor. And already in the Academy with a fine military career ahead of him. A perfect alternative to Gregor, who right now has just shown everyone how useless he is, how far from being real Emperor material. Ivan. Maybe he really would be a better choice.

But Gregor likes Ivan, he can’t dump this poisoned chalice on the kid. Ivan’s still finding out who he is and what he wants to do. So it’s Gregor’s job as a loving cousin to keep Ivan safe. To make sure that nobody will drag him into some plot that takes him to that post in the main square.

So, for his own life’s sake, Ivan is going to be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

He knows they’re all watching him, waiting to see if his Academy results show promise. Promise of a wonderful military career, or of an even more dangerous promotion. Watching and comparing, waiting to see if the still-new Emperor Gregor is the only choice. And he knows that if he shines too brightly certain factions will move quietly into action. And, worse, Impsec will move to do whatever it takes to keep Gregor safely as Emperor. He knows that Uncle Simon watches him, they’ve had some of those strange conversations that are all hints and unfinished sentences and significant warning looks.

Ivan’s not a fool. And because of that, he’s going to be an idiot. He manages to score between 81% and 84% on every test at the Academy. High enough to be acceptable, since a pass mark is usually 75%. Low enough that about a third of the cadets score above him. Not always the same third; most cadets score higher on some subjects than others. Nobody, except probably Simon Illyan, notices that Ivan scores the same on every test. Which isn’t easy to do, and involves a great deal of care and skill. But with the ease of long practice, Ivan is an idiot in every way possible throughout his time at the Academy, convincing all those bright young men, and more importantly their fathers, that Ivan Vorpatril isn’t and could never be Emperor material.

To keep himself, and Gregor, safe, Ivan is going to be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

He can’t have a brilliant military career, that’s far too dangerous. But he can’t resign from the military, since the next logical step would be politics. And for a prospective heir, that’s even more dangerous. He can’t marry and have children yet, because Gregor hasn’t done so and it would make people look more closely at Ivan as the possible father of the next generation of Imperial Heirs. He can’t resign and be a town clown, because an idle heir hanging around the Capital would attract too much interest.

So Ivan will stay in the military, keeping to his 82% level in whatever way is available to an active officer. He’ll work well, but not too well. Never be the first one finished, or the last. Never volunteer for all the important jobs. Never be the first with a right answer, never ask a question that shows too much interest.

His only outlet, his only safe way to shine, is in pursuing and bedding women. Even there, he can’t let himself care too much, or let them care too much about him. So long as he loves nobody, and nobody loves him, Ivan can chase every woman he sees. And bed most of them, too. He can earn admiration and contempt at the same time.

So, throughout his career, Ivan will be an idiot.

+++++++++++++++

Ivan is going to be an idiot.

Gregor is wise, and competent, and the best Emperor Barrayar has had for generations. He’s also safely married, with children. Heirs to the throne, the next generation safe and secure. Even Miles is wed and bred, so there’s finally a whole squadron of Imperial heirs between Ivan and the throne. At long last, Ivan is no longer the viable alternative.

At long last, Ivan is free to be … not an idiot.

And it’s too late. His career is nearly over, with nothing of value achieved. His chance of true love is gone, he’s just a figure of amusement and contempt now, an aged Lothario still trying to chase young women who have no care or respect for him. There’s no chance in politics, he’s long been labelled as useless and it’s too late to change their minds.

Ivan has been an idiot all his life, it’s the only thing he was allowed to do well. He dumbed down his intelligence, threw away his talents, suppressed his energy. He hollowed himself out for the Imperium. Like many before him he gave his life for the Emperor, but in Ivan’s case it was one tiny slice at a time, a slow dreary erosion of his talents and his personality. Take away the idiot role and there’s nothing left behind it any more.

He wonders how Miles managed it, he played Admiral Naismith but kept Lord Vorkosigan alive too. Ivan played You Idiot Ivan for so long, and so well, and now he finds there’s nothing left.

Like his father, Ivan Vorpatril was destroyed by the Imperium. It just took a lot longer, and was far less heroic or spectacular. He didn’t even get that.

Ivan sits alone in his empty apartment. There’s one glass left from the bottle of brandy. It’s sitting on the table beside his chair. And next to it is his Neural Disruptor.

To end his long, dreary service to the Imperium, Ivan is going to be an idiot, one last time.

+++++++++++++++


End file.
